"Focusing on my own wellbeing is the only way I can be there for others."
Julie Porter is an advocate for self-care after a mentally abusive relationship left her feeling suicidal and worthless.
In 2013, Julie found the courage to leave her toxic relationship, taking her two young daughters with her, but before she began feeling mentally strong again, things got worse and she even wondered whether life was worth living.
Julie found it hard to see an opening at the end of the tunnel but believes her two children have been her strength.
“I knew that I was depressed because it wasn’t in my personality to feel like everything was a chore or be so withdrawn and drained.” Julie explains.
“I felt completely worthless as a person. I felt like a bad mum and was in a really fragile place mentally.
“I knew deep down I wouldn’t take my own life because I have my two girls but I can see how being in that place can be isolating.”
Julie opened up to her GP about her struggles and was prescribed anti-depressants, which was a huge relief at the time. She also received counselling to help her manage her thought processes and help her understand a new way of thinking.
But these recovery techniques were to be tested in 2017 after her mum fell ill, which piled on even more pressure and led to Julie feeling like she was on the verge of a breakdown.
She said: “I was afraid to talk at first, I felt vulnerable and didn’t want people to know what I was going through but after years of bottling up my depression and being tight-lipped about the abuse, talking and being open was (and still is) key to recovery.”
In the last five years, Julie has learned to combat the symptoms that can lead to negative mental health by taking time out to self-care.
She said: “I know now that if I’m feeling stressed or things are building up, I need to take a step back and focus on what is important. I’ve even made a promise to myself that every year, I will take five days annual leave dedicated just to me and I’ll treat myself to a shopping day, I’ll go to the gym or take a walk round to the coffee shop!”
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